Life, Love, and Death
by Alto
Summary: Story of an AC pilot (in journal entrees) and his trial of life, love, and death.


"Life, Love, and Death"   
  
....logging on....   
  
I thought I'd start this journal by writing about my upcomming mission. It seems that the company Chrome needs my help on transporting some data from the Falna Craters in Mars to the HQ at Earth. The mission will take place tommorrow at 0800 hours.   
  
I write this in agony as I know, in my heart, that I may not make it back. The success percentage of this mission is under 20%. Not exactly the best odds for one to bet on. Then again...I'm not a betting man, so I'll take my chances.   
  
Chrome's representative and I have been going steady for quite a while. Which is why, I assume, I have been getting as many missions from them as I have. Also, it is why I feel as much pain in my heart as I do. For if I do not make it back...I won't be able to...well...even in a journal a man must keep his privacy.   
  
I know that as a Raven, I am not supposed to have any emotional ties to any company. As, time-to-time, I will have to stike against that same bussiness or government. But I guess, even a Raven gets to bend the rules of the game every now-and-again.   
  
Her name is Rebecca. The enchantress makes me smile even when I have just lost a fortune. WHICH DOESN'T HAPPEN OFTEN! I could write in this journal in explicit detail of her every movement in the bedroom...but...I think I'll leave that up to the imagination - never know...this could be printed at a later date. I will say, however, that she is the love of my life and I want to pop the question of marriage. But the fact that I may die on this mission, or any mission for that matter, has me really in disavow to do so. I really want to be with her for the rest of my life...however long that may be.   
  
Rebecca cares for me in a way that nobody else does, and I don't say that just because I'm a Raven. It's just...I never even felt that sort of care, even before I was Raven, at all. Not from friends, not from colleagues, not from my parents....from nobody...nobody but her. Which is why she is so special to me. My English Muffin has shown so much love to a man who goes on suicidal missions every week. I tell ya, if I were in her position...I'd be up to my ears with worry. Such a strong will and soul she has, I admire those traits of her. She also does her job as Chrome's representative VERY well. Then again, I think I'm biased, but I don't really care if I am!   
  
There are times, during missions, when I want to sing out, "cursed be this love I bear/bereaved be this heart that bleeds for her/the love of the man lives here/on grain and the earth, rain and the chilling air." Just like that Anakin guy from that oldies movie - "Star Wars:Episode II", "logical I am not, if I was logical, I would get rid of these feelings I have for you. But I cannot, thus I will act upon them." He knows, just like I, that he may die and will leave his woman with pain and sorrow. Honestly, I do not want to leave Rebecca with such feelings. Instead, I want nothing but the opposite for her to bear. I guess...I should tell her these things...but when I'm with her, I don't think of the sort. I think...only happy thoughts. Only of us. Perhaps I'm narrowminded, I don't know. It's just...I love her so much.   
  
If I could, I'd get rid of this Raven job just to be with her forever and a day. Taking care of her and our soon to be children. But...I need the money that each job provides so that I can make a living. Also, my reputation isn't that great in the arena and could use a few wins to uplift it a bit. I could fight soley in the arena and get rid of the chance to die...but...in the lower parts of the arena the pay is no where near the dough of missions. I mean, I'm only ranked 38th. I've had 20 wins and 20 losses. Not much to brag about. I'm just an average everyday kind of Raven. Just short of run-of-the-mill. So I barely get by.   
  
Not many challenges come my way, so I usually have to turn in the paperwork to challenge others so that I can pay my rent on time. I know what you're thinking..."he's a Raven, he should be getting huge paychecks, he should be living the easy life" I tell ya...it's partly true. I do get huge paychecks, except that most of it goes to pay for the repairs and ammunition to and for my AC. It is pretty damn expensive to maintain an Armored Core. And the place I live in is nowhere near the appropriate standard of living as far as my paychecks are concerned. I don't live in a shack, persay, but I do live in a moderately fashioned apartment complex supplied by Nerve's Concord, a sub-division of the former Raven's Nest.   
  
Anyways, I need to get to sleep and hit the hay. I have a long mission ahead of me. I just hope the 300,000 credits will cover all my expenses. Perhaps an engagement ring for Rebecca...   
  
....logging out....  
  
....logging on....   
  
As you can probably tell, I made it back from the mission intact. The mission took four days to complete. And let me tell ya, I am one exhausted puppy. After this journal is complete, I am taking one hell of a nap...er...sleep!   
  
The mission at Falna Craters was a total success. Chrome was able to get their data back to their HQ in Earth. The mission was incredibly hard. When I reached Falna Craters, the place was covered by MTs and a two supporting ACs. It appeared that the ACs were dictating where the MTs would go. It was no ordinary mission. Even now, I still have no idea why they chose me...a lowly 38th ranked Raven. Maybe because I have never failed to succeed at a mission? No matter the reason, I did my job.   
  
I'll describe my mission as follows: As I plummeted down from the drop ship, I targeted the first AC with the MG-SAW. The weapon was found in an ancient ruin for a mission from Murakumo, its ancient trajectory was superior to any of todays technology. The bullets ripped through the ACs core and instantly killed the pilot inside. The AC immediately fell to the ground and no longer functioned. There was still the other AC and the multitude of MTs. PLUS I still had to escort the damned data inside the transporter awaiting my arrival.   
  
I whipped out my WC-GNR2500, another ancient weapon, and slammed its shell on the backside of the other AC, who was busy with God-only-knows. The explosion shredded the enemy AC's boosters and thus was a sitting duck for my next volley. I decided to have a bit of fun with this AC. I over-boosted over to its current location, which was about 100 meters from the transporter overshadowed by the enormous ship which made the local famous. I energized my blade, the LS-99-MOONLIGHT - yet another ancient weapon - hey I love the old weapons - they're a lot better than todays weaponry...but its banned in the arena for their incredible power, and sliced that poor-poor AC in half at the core's connection to the legs.   
  
Next up after that feat was to destroy the several MTs that laid to all sides. I decided that I would take them out in a fury of blows with my MOONLIGHT. Swipe after swipe each one came crashing down to disfunction. The last MT stood afoot infront of my AC with what looked like a mournful face and fired a volley of missles which took out both my sensors and my left arm in its entirety. I figured one arm for their army was atonement enough. So I used the MG-SAW to finish the last remnant.   
  
Only thing that was left, in this mission, was to escort the transporter to the space shuttle awaiting its delivery before its departure to Earth. I transmitted a message over the vessel claiming that the coast was clear and it would be smooth sailing from here on out. Little did I know that it was to be nothing of the sort.   
  
About half-way towards the shuttle, a black quad-legged AC arrived only to message me and raise havoc. The man in the AC referred himself as the dark ascendent of the latent NineBreaker Lazerus named Mathias. Mathias told me that he was Murakumo's number one client and Raven. He sent a warning, "Those who help restore the ways of old will only be filled with agony and a deathly view of life." I still have no idea what he meant. And before I had a chance to ask him what he meant, he started firing upon the transporter with a gun as ancient as my own. The beams blasted to each side of the transporter making it hault. I boosted to stand between his next laser-bolt and the escortee. Mathias pounded my AC like Thor's Hammer. My hull couldn't withstand much more. Finally he subsided his blasts and yelled out to my AC again, "Those who help restore the ways of old will only be filled with agony and a deathly view of life." He then overboosted the hell out of the mission's parameters. I paused a bit, then declared the area to be safe once again. This time I was right.   
  
The data arrived safely into the shuttle and I assume the trip was not a troubled one for the fact that I recieved perfect payment for my mission. I was relieved, to say the least. Time for home.   
  
After the mission was completed, Rebecca swung by my place to talk for a bit. Although, her usual talking involves bumping and grinding against a bedpost. But not this time. She actually wanted to talk! Don't get me wrong, we still bumped and grinded afterwards. Man, was it the best...erm...hehe, ever! My English Muffin was like an animal last night. I have never heard her scream so loud in my life. We had the best orgasms ever! Hoo Boy, I can't believe I was able to keep awake after an elongated mission like that - let alone have unbelievable sex the entire night afterwards. She is good! Enough about our boogey...even though I could write and write hour after hour of our everlasting night...hehe. Ahem...she told me that the data Chrome had me help escort had to deal with an ancient and forbidden wisdom. It appears that AC-like machines existed way-back-when and the ancients tried to create a genome type project. One that would inject the human soul into an AC for enhanced performace.   
  
After listening to what she had said I started reminiscing, in my head, of the oldies style of Anime. Neo-Japan had captivated world-wide audiences a long time ago with hand drawn images used with an image replicator to animate the drawings to life. One of my favorite animes from way-back-when was Evangelion. This fusion of human and AC had me thinking of how the Evas were made. They took parts of "Adam" and another lifeform to create the Evangelion. This project is extremely similar. Perhaps the Japanese from that time were on to something. I guess, this is what they were up to. I just wonder how the hell they put their info on Mars and into the Falna Craters. Any guess is as good as the next for this event.   
  
It doesn't make any sense though...why would they put human souls into an AC? What performance could increase from this? These are questions that Chrome's scientists and researchers are trying to answer. Obviously this will take a while to complete, perhaps not even in their or even my own lifetime. Nevertheless, I did help out with the project. So hopefully my name will be somewhere in the project for credit damn it! Oh well...time for a long long nap!   
  
....logging out....  
  
....logging on....   
  
It seems that Chrome has finished its research on the Bio Armored Core project. Where it takes a human and splices its genes into that an AC to create an ultra adapt AC. Chrome needs a pilot to test out their new BAC, and Rebecca sent me a disturbing message that she won't be able to communicate with me any longer. She said that she will no longer be able to see me at all. This has me greatly troubled. Before she said that she loved me, she spoke of the test BAC and that Chrome wanted me to pilot it. Rebecca noted that I would be the only person able to pilot this BAC because of my connections to the human inside it. When the human is spliced into the AC, the human soul is impounded within the AC and nobody but who caused great events, good or bad, to the human will be able to pilot the AC. I honestly don't know why Chrome wants me to pilot it. I also have no clue as to why Rebecca will no longer be able to give me missions or even to...hehe...with me. I really want to see her. I love the woman to death. And she has the same feelings for me....this has me really disconcerted. I guess, I should have never got into a relationship where either one of us may die or something else...   
  
I leave to test the BAC tomorrow night at 1930 hours. Maybe I can't even pilot the damned machine, because I really haven't had any form of connections with anyone but Rebecca...oh my god...they wouldn't have! It is all starting to make sense! Rebecca won't be able to see me anymore...and Chrome wants me to pilot their BAC...oh my god....I...I can't finish this journal today...I...I dear god all mighty....please - please - please don't let what I'm thinking happen. If it does happen...Chrome will pay for taking the one person in my life who meant anything to me. They will pay with their life! Rebecca...please be okay!   
  
....logging out....  
  
....logging on....   
  
My thoughts were correct...too bad they were. I didn't wait until the time alloted to test the BAC, instead I rushed straight to Chrome's HQ to find my love. I entered the building like any other day, except this time I raced a b-line down the hallways, in the complex, to the research lab. And that's where I saw her. I gave a frown full of despair as I peered through the window to her beautiful face. She noticed I was looking at her from behind the glass and shed a few tears. I...I watched as they slit her throat and emptied the blood that flowed within her. I watched as they bombarded her body with an assortment of needles and tubes. I watched as they killed my love, my English Muffin, my Rebecca. I spoke then of that which I did not know. A poem uttered from my lips upon the glass and echoed throughout the planet -   
  
"...Love laved with stillness like the grave in my heart, and all the reasons huddled in your seeping blood..."   
  
From that moment on, I knew that my love and I would never again create the sparks that we once had. And with the last rays the the setting sun, she bled her love away. No more beating as one, no longer burns the flame. Gone are the times when I felt alive. Gone are those nights with Rebecca by my side. And there I stood as the shwadows grew deep...with the death in my view, at her grave...I weep.   
  
As my love's blood emptied from her body, I trembled and cried. Shivers of cold streamed down my spine which trinkled my nerve endings with a neverending frost. The woman that I knew and loved ceased to exist. Just a lifeless heap that laid upon the chair.   
  
Although my love was gone, I still felt her presence. I felt, what seemed like, warm hands massaging my shoulders as I wept as if to let me know that everything was going to be fine. At that exact moment, the guards came running to escort me out the building. They told me that I was to not of seen that. That I was not to have witnessed the death of the love of my life. I was placed under high security for the rest of the day. I know not of how they transferred her soul into the BAC, nor do I want to. For if I did, I would probably hold more resent towards Chrome then I already do.   
  
The scientist told me that I could have a day to grieve about my loss then I was to test the BAC the next day. Which is tomorrow. The BAC laced with my love's blood and soul. I will test that BAC...and I will use it to DESTROY CHROME!!!!!   
  
....logging out....  
  
....logging on....   
  
The words of Mathias stuck forever in my head now, "Those who help restore the ways of old will only be filled with agony and a deathly view of life." I know now what he meant by that. Mathias knew that they would take my love and kill her. This is a short journal entry as this revelation just came to mind. I vow to kill those that killed her. I am filled with agony, and I have a deathly view of life. I will eradicate all of Chrome. With their own disgusting machine, I WILL KILL ALL THOSE BASTARDS!!!!!!!   
  
....logging out....  
  
...logging on...  
  
Because of this astounding day, I must write this entry with as much detail as possible.  
  
The day finally came at 1000 hours to pilot the cursed BAC. With a crude vengence in mind, I entered the doors of Chrome. Security was tighter than usual - perhaps they knew of my plan to wipe them all out. One officer came to lead me to the test room. She looked rather unusual for a mere guard, her purple hair glided over her forehead barely touching her brow. The lady guard had a remarkably beaufitul face that craved attention. The lady guard stood eye to eye with me, wearing a standard uniform which included a blue button-down shirt, belt, gun, and black dress pants. Her figure fit well into those cloths, but her bust was a little too large for a "man's" outfit. As she lead the way Rebecca's last words echoed in my head, "Please be careful of your emotions, I know that you love me...but please don't let that distract you from your missions - goodbye." I believe she was alluding to this machine-soul immertion, and the fact that she knew I would be fueled with rage knowing she died to produce the abomination which I was to pilot. She was strong in will and well off in her own ways, which is one of the reasons I loved her so much, so perhaps she did not die in vain.  
  
"By the way, the name is Nell," the guard spoke, "I can offer you my condolences, however, I do not believe you would heed them. In which case I will only offer you my help. I'm aware that you no longer have a representive to conduct your missions. So, with your permission, I shall take over in that reguard. I may also provide with you some emotional insight. With your loss, your are, more than likely, filled with anger and sandness at extremes. This is natural, but is yet fleeting. Once you have adjusted with the knowledge of her deaths true purpose, then you will see things differently....maybe."  
  
I responded, "Just lead the way."  
  
And so she did, and then bid me farewell at the test lab's massive doors. I acknowledged her attempted comfort and entered. Inside there were many scientists busy with computers connected with wires which lead to a massive AC. The AC was brown, red, black, and green. It looked very well built, everything was refined to a near shine, it's green eyes stared into mine. My soul burned to know the reasoning for Rebeca's end to fuel this...this....damned machine!   
  
One of the scientists seemed to have finished his testing, she looked at me with gloom. She looked very similar to an old pop star from the 1990's of A.D. Britney Spears. Even down to the flowing legs which seemed to go on forever tapped by white high-heels.   
  
The lady stood up and approached me, she smiled and spoke, "I pressume you are one to pilot the Biological Armored Core, am I correct?"  
  
"Yes you are."  
  
"Then please follow me to the cockpit bay."   
  
I nodded and relluctantly was led up the clean white stairway with a double-barred handrail. Nearing the reach of the stairs, the pathway to the BAC become clear. It was a narrow passage but we both seemed to fit just well enough to not hit the edges nor have the need for the handrail. We stood infront of the damned AC nearing where its cockpit should be. But no obvious way was to enter the machine. Normal methods were not used for entry.  
  
"To pilot this machine, you must first enter it. And to do that you must utter the words that meant the most to the person's soul who is inside."  
  
"What do you mean!?" I uttered.  
  
"You must relay a message to the person inside. The words you use are a nexus which awakes the soul who parisites the AC-host. Only one who caused great impact into their life would be able to awaken them. I overheard from some other scientists gossip that you witnessed her death. But she didn't really die. At least not her soul. Only her body is dead, her sould remains alive...just asleep. And only you can wake her up." The lady explained.  
  
As I looked at the BAC, I think I saw an unmistakable aura which screamed Rebecca, and there I said, "Rebecca, I love you!"  
  
The AC responded by opening its hatches and showing a relaxing cockpit. A leather chair faced towards me.  
  
"Go, and pilot the BAC." She notioned.  
  
I entered the machines bay and placed myself on its seat. Immediatley the hatches closed and I faced pitch darkness. For a few minutes nothing happened. I figured the scientists were doing some sort of analysis on my uneventful mounting.  
  
"The BAC is a voice activated system - the one who awakens the soul must direct its attention for operating. You must tell it to ignite." a muffled voice sounded.  
  
Alright, it was my own being that drived this system which is why they needed me.  
  
"Rebecca, shine your lights onto my face and let me see you from the inside."  
  
When I finished my sentence, her HUD became apparent. Lights filled the inside, familiar controls of a regular AC could be seen now. A regular joystick, activation buttons, a 3-D display screen, and a bunch of new buttons and activators.   
  
"Honey, is that you?" a familiar voice sounded.  
  
"Rebecca!?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Oh my god!!! I LOVE YOU!!! I MISS YOU!!!" I screamed.  
  
"I know, but you are here, in me. We are together, as one entity. And I love you too."  
  
"You need to explain to me why you did...."  
  
"Enough, there will be time for all of that. But right now, I must introduce you to someone."  
  
"What, who?" I asked.  
  
"The BAC has a name as well, I am merely your guiding system. Its name is Cinder." Rebecca replied.  
  
"Cinder, eh? Sounds like a cool name."  
  
"Cinder is equipped with both ancient and current techonology to produce the most advanced AC ever seen. The BAC has the ability to learn and become more profecient up to its limit. Its potential limit is that of its pilot and its host, which is you and me respectively. Cinder will pilot like a regular AC for a few missions, but you'll see its abilities increase with more usage. This also brings me to your question."  
  
"Why did you do this?"  
  
"We were chosen by the combined counsil of Chrome, Murakumo, Mirage, Kisarigi, Crest, Emeraude, Zio Matrix, Balena, Nerves Concord, and The Raven's Nest by not only our compassion towards one another but our abilities as a messanger and death bringer." Rebecca stated.  
  
"I understand you as a messanger, but a death bringer?"  
  
"Yes, you were destined to be the perfect killer. Your skill potential is unparrallelled. No other has your limits. Infact, the counsil almost didn't pick you for that reason. But as I am your messanger and your lover, you have been controlled. I am sorry to say that I have used you."  
  
"WHAT!?"  
  
"Yes, I have used you to benifit the production of BACs. Do you think it was 'fate' that brought us together? Do you honestly believe that I would be attracted to you for your mission status or arena fights? Or even your looks? No, it was your innate potential."  
  
"You whore!"  
  
"...you could say that I have been one. But as I grew to know you for the person that you are, I became attatched to you in a way nobody expected. And then I became a nuisance to the counsil. I started second guessing this entire project involving you. You could also say I commited an ultimate sin."  
  
"Ultimate sin?"  
  
"By forcing love upon another under false reasons. And to atone for my sin, I decided to commence in my own sacrifice for your benifit."  
  
"My benifit?"  
  
"With the birth of the first BAC, you will be in recorded history as the first pilot to ever have his full potential unleashed. Your name will be feared by all who oppose you. And perhaps you will find enough strength to cut away from your strings and slay the puppeteer. But, I don't know if that goal should be done just yet, we still have to deal with a few present problems."   
  
"What problems are those?"  
  
"Thankfully the scientists cannot hear my words nor yours in this BAC yet, their techonology isn't advanced enough to listen to thoughts. So the problems at hand are this: The counsil believes you will be a nice puppet and do their bidding, also Chrome will not just allow you to leave alive after knowing of the BAC's true purpose. And the fact that with this machine, you would be a threat to every single company and Raven in existence. So we must play it safe - we must act like we do not know what they are intending to do with us."  
  
"Why should I listen to a person who decieved me and toyed with my heart, you're no better than the counsil!" I shouted.  
  
"Because....I love you. I told you these things so you would come to realize that I did make a mistake, a dreadful one. I resent the fact that I came to you under fake pretenses and wish that I could take them back. But it remains that I can't, thus I am utilizing this time to embrace our love to unify us as being one once more and forever. Our love is why this BAC runs. Not fake love, but real love. Love that can only exist between soul mates."  
  
"Soul Mates....that is....I'm still pissed at you, but..."  
  
"I know. I love you too."  
  
"Heh, you were always good at reading me." I responded  
  
"I think the scientists are calling." Rebecca noted.  
  
"We have our results for the day, please exit and come back tomorrow at 0800 hours for actual piloting. An arena will be prepared to you so the BAC can see some action. Thank you."  
  
"Yes." I signiled to Rebecca to open Cinder's hatches. When the bays opened, I was somewhat relieved to see the lady scientist again.  
  
"Please follow me, you shall be lead outside of the lab and your guard will then lead you outside."  
  
I nodded and she headed back down the stairs, I hesitated and I gave a blowing kiss to Rebecca and then followed.  
  
As I opened to gate, Nell greeted me and then led me to the outside of the building.  
  
"I'll see you tomorrow then. It is still good to meet you, the Legendary Raven. I will be honored to do your mission briefings. Goodbye."  
  
So that is what happened. I'm somewhat left in awe of what transpired over today. I found out more about Rebecca than I ever did, her love is true and so is mine - it showed even in great delimna. I found out that the BAC's true purpose was only to kill, so will I be known as "The Great Destroyer," piloting a menacing yet beautiful AC? I am glad that Rebecca is still with me, so most of my anger has been focused so I will follow her words and we shall defeat any that oppose us. Or...is she still pulling "my" strings? If she is....she does one hell of a job. I guess until I pilot it again, I'll never be sure. Thus I close this entry.  
  
...logging out... 


End file.
